Let me in
by Phanael
Summary: AU! Sirius has just moved to a small town and meets a very interesting person. Sirius is determined to make him his! Sirius x Remus.
1. Chapter 1

I got this idea while I was in Lissabon (dunno the English word for it…) and went into one of the many churches. It was so beautiful and while I sat in one of the aisles, watching in silence this idea popped into my head. But it was censored xD no worries!!!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, James, Sirius, Remus and so on belong to Joanne Rowling. If they were mine they wouldn't have found endings like they have with her…

Rating: K (This chapter….)

Beta: Vikertee (Thank you so much!!!)

Notes: This is an AU. I will use the characters but they have never seen the beautiful halls of Hogwarts!

o

**Chapter one: Moving**

"Enjoy your first night in your new bed, Sirius" Lily winks at me. "You know what they say about your first night in your new bed in your new house: What you dream will come true." She smiles while James' arms sneak around her waist. A part of me is jealous. No, not because of Lily. I love her, but she's like a sister to me. I'm jealous in general. James has found the love of his life and they look so happy together. And me? I'm still alone, I never found a girl whom I truly loved. And right now I'm alone. Well… Sometimes I find myself a nice girl when I'm in a Pub but lately it's become boring. They're like faceless nobodies. I don't like them and we will never see each other again. That's not what I want for the rest of my life. Strange, but I think I'm growing up a little more.

"What do you think he will dream about, Lily? You know him, right?" James grins at me and I smack the back of his head. "What?" He growls. "Are you trying to deny you're a reckless fool?"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Okay that's it. I pull him away from Lily, throwing him onto my bed, straddling his hips with all my weight and tickle him until he's so out of breath that he begins to cough. "Say it again, Potter, I dare you!" I hear Lily laughing in the background and she comes up at the other side of my large bed and smiles down at her fiancé. She doesn't do anything to defend him. I guess she also thinks that James deserves this. I go on until he begs for mercy. I look up at Lily and silently ask her what I should do.

"I think he's so out of breath that he would die if you went on now…" Lily muses. James tries to get me off of him, but I'm hard to get rid of. I've stopped tickling him and smile down at his deep red face.

"That is for calling me a pervert!" I say and get off the bed so that he can recover and sit up. He tries to breathe normally, but I tickled the wind out of him and I smile triumphantly. "Let this be a lesson does it?" He nods, unable to speak.

When they have left I feel alone.

I have moved from London to Morden, because I was offered a job at a bookstore and I took it as an opportunity. It's not really THAT far but I guess we won't see each other as often as before… I'll miss our evenings together. They often came over. Or I went over to see them. They are like a family to me. Maybe because I never had one. I grew up in an orphanage, and I don't know where I really come from. I try not to think about it. I'm happy: I have nice friends, I have a well-paid job and now I moved into a small, kind of sleepy town where I can meet lots of new people. At least that's what I hope. At the moment I simply feel lost. But it is late, I am tired and I should go to sleep.

I take the first shower in my new house, look into an empty fridge and decide that the first thing I should do tomorrow is looking for some shops where I can get food. And beer. I shrug, close the door to the fridge and go into my new bedroom. The room is small and most of it is covered by a huge king sized bed with red satin covers. The walls are white, and above my bed hangs a black and white print of the Tower Bridge. That's the only decorative thing in this room. The wall on the left side is dominated by my wardrobe and on the other is a window.

I fall onto my bed, taking the book that lies on my nightstand with me, and begin to read. It is a fantasy novel. No big deal, nothing out of the ordinary, but it's entertaining and right now exactly what I need. Soon I'm absorbed by it and I feel my eyes grow heavy after another hour or so. So I switch off the light and make myself comfortable under the soft covers of my new bed. It's really comfortable. Wow. I feel my body relax and drift to sleep.

_It is an old building but I cannot really see WHAT it is. An old castle or a mansion. I can only guess. When I enter a huge hall I feel uncomfortable. Something is terribly wrong. Again I cannot make out what it is but I go further into the hall and a rich smell fills my nose. Like incense or something. It makes me dizzy and I feel strange as I walk on and on and on… The hall turns into a narrow passage. It gets darker but still I go on. Curiosity will kill the cat and I'm sure it will kill Sirius Black some day. But I cannot help it; it's in my nature to find out about things._

_When the passage ends I find a single door which is heavily bolted. I try to get it open and finally manage to get through it. Wow. Sirius Black is impressed! A wide cathedral spreads before me. It is empty but at the far end I can see the altar, illuminated by a single column of light. The rest of the cathedral lies in utter darkness but I can guess that there are pillars. When I look up and try to see the ceiling the pillars vanish in darkness._

_Still curious I walk towards the centre of the cathedral where the altar stands and my hands reach out to touch it._

"_Don't!" A voice behind me says and I start. So intense… Slowly I turn around to face the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. Incredible. An angel, perhaps? A strange sound stops me from asking questions. It nags at me and pulls me away from this curious place, from this beautiful creature._

I open my eyes. Damn this alarm clock. How I would have loved to go on with this dream, how I would have loved to do the naughtiest things to this angelic creature… But I have to get up. There are so many things that have to be done! And I need food. My stomach growls to underline the empty fridge. Damn!

And the sun is shining in my face, blinding me. I need to get something to shut it out! But first things first. Getting up, I muse about my new job. It starts next week so I have enough time to get to know my surroundings. I hope to meet some people to talk to. It's strange to be alone all the time, and while I can only guess, I think it will take some time to get used to it.

After I get dressed I sigh and leave my house for the first time. When I close the door I turn around to look at my new home. It's not huge, only one floor with a small room under the roof, where I keep my books, and a small garden. I guess that will be the room where I will spend most of my time. When I stand in front of my house it looks too cute. Like that of a witch or a wizard. I don't think I have enough time to care for that garden seriously, but I have to confess I like it as it is right now: wild. Like a small jungle in front of my own small house.

I smile. Okay. I think I can manage to feel at home in this small house. Right. But I still need food. So I turn to leave and walk down the street where I expect there to be some shops. My neighbourhood looks nice, too. Small houses like mine but no one looks like the other. They all look like a small kingdom of the people who live in it.

Deep in thought I walk down the street, turn left, turn right, cross streets and finally I find a street lined with shops where I can get whatever I'll need. Great! Exactly what I was looking for.

I waste my time shopping, buying food, drinks, small things I will need in my house… I have lost track of time and I don't care. Until next week I will not look at my clock and I will sleep as long as I like! But I still need to get home again. Hmmm… which direction _is_ home? I turn around looking down the street, walking towards the corner, but every road looks like the others to me. Shit! I don't know where I am. Okay, Sirius… Think!

But when I see the person walking on the other side of the street I stop trying to orientate myself. Honey-coloured hair, a light scar on his left cheek and deep amber eyes. Beautiful! This word shots through my head and I don't even care that he's male. A guy. But so very, very beautiful. I guess my mouth hangs open and I'm staring. People may think I'm crazy.

When he turns around a corner I spring to life and follow him. I don't really know why I'm doing this, maybe because I _actually_ am crazy. But I'm also curious. I want to talk to him, I want to know him. I need to know his name! I want to see these eyes looking right into mine! My heart skips a beat when I realize what else I want, but I ignore it. Curiosity isn't a bad thing, right? And I need someone to show me my way home. Perhaps I'm lucky and he lives in my neighbourhood. I would love that!

I catch myself staring at his back while I follow him. Obviously he is oblivious to the fact that someone is behind him, following him, nearly stalking him. This makes me feel bad, but on the other hand: this is a street and so it is only normal that people are walking behind one another! And I cannot stop myself. Still staring at his back, I walk on. But I stop when he vanishes into a church. Again, I haven't noticed where we went, and I think I'm even more lost. I don't care, but what am I supposed to do now? Follow him into the church? I'm not used to stalking people, nor do I want to get used to it.

Hmm… I shrug to myself and step towards the gothic building. It seems to be an old church, gargoyles everywhere. Pointed arches, strange pillars. Instantly I remember my dream and Lily's words: _"You know what they say about your first night in your new bed in your new house: What you dream will come true."_ Maybe she's right?

The huge door creaks when I open it, and the sound rings in my own ears. I guess by now he knows I'm here. But when I enter the nave of the church he's gone. How? Did he know I was there? Has he tried to exit the church through a side door so I cannot follow him any more? My spirits sink. I want to see him again. Pouting, I sit down in one of the pews and look around. The church is larger than it looks from the outside. A high ceiling gives the impression of wide space. Strange… I never was a religious person but now I can fully understand why people look for peace in buildings like this. It calms my senses and my heart. Why am I here actually? Because I'm a fool, right?

But these questions melt when the beauty enters the huge room again through a door near the altar carrying a box with candles, placing them on various candleholders. Is he a priest? Oh, Gods, I hope not.

Shaking my head I ask myself why I thought this. I can befriend a priest, right? He's a guy. But so damn beautiful… Again I'm staring, and after some minutes when he has finished renewing the candles around the altar he turns to me and smiles. A shy smile, but it makes his eyes sparkle. A true and radiant smile. And I smile back at him. What else could I do? It's like the slight movement of his deep pink lips made mine move as well.

When he walks towards me my heart begins to race. I've never seen anyone move this gracefully. And I've never felt myself turn red like this. What's wrong with me? This must be what a girl feels like when she has a crush on some famous boy. That's not like me…

"I haven't seen you before…" Beauty says, and all I can do is stare at his lips and watch how they move. His eyes are locked on mine, and before he realizes I'm staring at him like that I tear my gaze from those pink lips and look into his eyes. They glow like amber in the dim light of this church and I find myself enchanted by them. Who is he? A siren?

I search through my mind for an answer in my brain but it seems it has turned to mush under his gaze. Still this smile grazes his features and I study his face more closely: The scar I've seen before begins at his left eye and it vanishes under his hair near his left ear. I want to trace this scar with my fingers and know where and why he got it. I want to tell him that it underlines his beauty.

Ah! I recall his questions and shrug slightly. "I'm new here. And I kind of… well… I got lost on my way home." My voice sounds strange in my own ears, perhaps it is because we're in a church. For three full seconds he stares at me, wide eyed. Then I hear his laughter. And I love this sound. His face lightens up and he does not even try to hide his amusement. I guess I look as flabbergasted as I really am. But I like to watch him laugh. I feel the tension between us vanish, and I smile too.

"I will take you home!" He promises, still trying to stop his laughter. I feel my heart warm. I think I'll enjoy my journey home…

o

tbc…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Belongs to JKR

Rating: K+

Notes: This is an AU. I will use the characters but they have never seen the beautiful halls of Hogwarts!  
This chapter took me quite some time and I sincerely apologize! I feel bad for keeping you waiting so long, but I'm so busy at the moment it makes my head spin… Sorry!

Beta: Vikertee. Thank you so much! And don't work too hard ;)

.:o:.

It has become kind of a habit. Like a tradition or something. But I really enjoy it. I like him and I like that he comes to the bookstore every day and I enjoy Remus' company when we walk home together every day. I got the feeling that I'm about to fall madly in love with him and I'm afraid. I really am. But I don't care. He's so beautiful, so compassionate, clever and most eloquent. It is exciting and calming at the same time when we talk. And it seems like we could go on forever.

He lives down my street and when he finishes work he comes to the bookstore where I work and walks home with me. Remus works in the church where I have first met him. He tells me about it, and I can see how much he likes it. His eyes sparkle with excitement when he talks about it and I am happy because he looks so happy. Beautiful… He lives with Father Raphael, the vicar of the church. Father Raphael adopted him when he was a child. Remus had been left on the steps of the church and I always wonder who left a cute being like him alone…

Sometimes he comes over in the evening. I guess he feels alone then and wants to have company. I wonder if he has any other friends, but I'm also glad that he comes to visit me. I feel lonely, too, missing Lily, James, Peter and all the others I left behind in London. Since I've been here I haven't been to London. I just called Lily every second day and let myself be informed on what happens back at the city I once called home. But it isn't the same and so I'm glad for Remus keeping me company.

I guess he suspects something. He isn't blind or anything and I'm pretty sure that I sometimes look at him for too long. Remus hasn't said anything but he doesn't try to stay away from me. In fact it seems like he likes me as well. As a friend, though, but liking me nevertheless. I'm okay with it. For now. I know it is impossible for me to go on like this forever but I can find a solution when the time comes. First things first!

Today he comes to meet me at the book store as usual, and I smile when I see him standing in front of the window, beaming and waving at me. Gods, he is so beautiful. Does he even know? For all I know he hasn't got a girlfriend. And he always has time for me, over the last months I've seen him nearly every day. And he comes over so often that I'm sure that I am his only friend. Would I destroy this by falling in love with him? I wave back and show him 3 fingers: 3 more minutes and I'll be ready to go home. But I wonder why he stays outside the shop. He never sets a foot over the doorstep. In summer I haven't thought about it, but now it gets colder, I guess now it becomes colder day by day. So why does he stay out in the cold?

I finish my work. The day has been hard and I feel tired, but seeing him lights me up. When I step out into the cold he smiles at me again and wraps his scarf tighter around his neck. His cheeks are red from the cold and it looks like he's blushing. Too cute. I have passed the point at which I wondered about me feeling this way about another man. I think I can get comfortable with it. But Remus… I don't know, he's so shy and introverted that he would run away, being red as a tomato, if I'd drop a hint or – just the thought makes my knees go weak – kiss him. And I've been thinking about it. Just tell him. But I came up with the conclusion that I should be happy to have him as a friend and not risk it.

"Guess you're tired." He says, looking at me closely. He always detects my mood by just looking at me and he is as empathetic with other people as well. He can feel their moods, he can feel if they like him or not, and he can see if they have good intentions or not. I admire this gift in him.

When we reach my house and walk towards it I hear him stop in his tracks and turn around to see what is up. He looks at a bush that grows wildly under my kitchen window. I know I should have cut it weeks before but no need to stare at it like THIS! I walk towards him and follow his gaze, instantly knowing what he's looking at: A dead bird lies beneath the low branches of the bush, his small body twisted in a strange way. I guess it was a neighbour's cat that had left it there like that. But Remus only stares at the poor creatures, his eyes sad.

"He's dead…" He whispers and looks up at me. I have never seen eyes this compassionate. I'm tempted to say 'It's just a bird' but I guess it'd hurt him. And that is something I could never forgive myself! For a few seconds I just stare at him and ponder what I should do. Then I take his hand and lead him to the door. "Let this poor fellow rest…" It was the first I could think of saying without sounding like a complete fool. Remus looks up with a slight layer of tears in his eyes. Gods…He was so cute, so sweet. I wanted to take him in my arms, hold him, comfort him and tell him everything will be… but what am I thinking? He's a friend, not a lover. I've never been attracted to men, why him?

We enter the house and I see him walking off into the kitchen. It has become so normal that we are together, actually it is like he lives here with me. He brews tea and I watch him from the living room while I arrange some cookies on a plate.

"Why do you refuse to come into the bookstore. It is November, it is cold outside and it wouldn't do any harm if you warmed up a bit before we walk home…" I ask, watching his back closely and I see him hesitate in his work. He stops while he opens a cupboard and slowly turns around.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…since I've work in this city – three months, by the way – you have never entered the bookstore. And given the fact that you meet me there every day, I suppose I expected you to enter the shop sooner or later. But it seems almost as if you are afraid to enter. Why?" Remus takes a step back, and his back hits the cupboard.

"I… I don't like books, they…" He's at a loss of words, I can tell. And I suspect what the reason for this stuttering is. When I stand up he looks at me as if I've grown a second head. I try to smile but he looks so scared, trying to become one with the surface behind him.

"Remus… you…you can't read or write, can you?" I ask and instantly I know that this was the wrong approach. I guess he too stunned to yell at me, to shoot something back, to do anything. I feel so sorry for him but what am I supposed to do? Ignore this? "Tell me!" I implore. Oh Gods, what have I done? He breaks into tears and I stand in front of him, my arms hanging useless at my sides.

"I tried…" he sobs and all I can do is stare at him. "But… I never needed, I can do my work without reading. I never needed to learn and I thought I could manage to be as stupid as I am, but then you come along and… and…" His next words are drowned in tears and only now I can wrap my arms around his trembling form and press him close to me. He is limp in my arms but nevertheless I have to suppress a shiver when I feel him so close to my body.

"It's okay, Rem. We will find a way, I promise!" I don't know what I'm supposed to tell him or what I am supposed to do but I will help him. I close my arms tighter around his body and let my chin rest on his hair. My hands draw soothing circles on his back. I don't know what to think. He confuses me. I feel a fool for making him cry. "Shhh… It's not that bad, Remus. Just let me help you…"

.:o:.

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